14 Days Of Valentines: Day 10, A Starbucks Valentines-Themed Drink Couldn’t Make My Heart Thump

Starbucks introduced on February 8, and for one week only, three limited edition drinks designed for Valentine’s Day. Available are Molten Chocolate Latte, Molten Chocolate Frappuccino, and Molten Hot Chocolate. I thought it’d be a cute idea to try one for my 14 Days of Valentines gig here on Lavish Rebellion. Why not!

That same day I read about it online, I went to the nearest Starbucks in the area I was in (the closest because it was one of those blustery winter days in which those minuscule snow particles were in the bazillions and wouldn’t give up trying to get right in your cornea) for this so-called Valentine’s Day coffee drink.


And as I braved the wind like a nomad travelling Europeans mountains or some shit, I thought about, what does make a drink more Valentine’s themed than another? I’m beyond privy that this is Starbucks’ way of cashing in on the statuses of our relationships (imagined commercial pitch: “Drown your sorrows in a hot cup of gingerbread latte with red marshmallows, because at least your latte still loves you to pieces”) but really, what is a V-Day beverage! If I had to select ingredients from my in my mind adorable in-home bar or pantry, I would pick out ros`e, cinnamon, rose petals (from my expansive outside garden), honey and maple liqueur. Lots of sweet and tangy stuff. Maybe even throw in a gummy bear because I can.


I already knew that I would order the Molten Hot Chocolate. I love hot chocolate. You usually can’t go wrong with it. In about five minutes, I ordered it and it was made and ready for me to drink. But from the jump, it was all lackluster. Sure there was mocha whipped cream but not enough. And there was nothing really “molten” about my hot chocolate at all. It wasn’t steaming with chocolate energy or as Bustle promised, “Bittersweet mocha sauce and chocolatey chips melted. ” Bxtch, where?! I’m used to having the molten format when it comes to chocolate cake, so I’m not sure how that could’ve been metamorphosed into a drink. But I honestly Starbucks x Valentine’s would’ve given me something more for my taste buds.

And the taste? Eh. Nothing to send a love letter about either. I’ve had better hot chocolate from bodegas in the Bronx.

What a letdown! I thought these Valentine’s Day drinks were going to be lit! I finished it because I don’t know about you, but Starbucks ain’t cheap for me to throw away half a cup of a Venti or a Grande or a Venus de Milo, but Starbucks’ attempt to me my Valentine was a flop! Next time I decide to splurge, I’ll stick with my personal selection of classics: a green tea latte with whipped cream or white chocolate mocha.


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