Lavish Rebellion [DOT COM]

I knew that boys didn’t treat girls they thought of as sluts tenderly. Boys didn’t fall in love with, want forever with, raise babies with, or take care of sluts. I wanted to be taken care of. Desperately. I tried to be a “good girl.” Keeping my body count low was insurance. I thought it meant no one would ever cheat on me, that I’d always be loved, happy, and safe.

None of that had turned out to be true. In the years leading up to becoming a mother, I came to resent deeply the naïveté and inequality that being a good girl left me with — the way every man I liked had slept with more women than I had men, the dissonance I experienced when they talked about a girl they’d fucked “casually” and were now friends with. There are girls who are capable of that? I wondered. I couldn’t relate, but I wanted to.

-“Sex As a Single Mom” by Emily Ratajkowski, published in The Cut